This past year has been a crazy one for us – newlyweds, our first home, making decisions about the next few years of our lives, growing together and figuring out what makes us the happiest. The first year has always been heralded as the toughest in marriage and it was difficult but not in the ways I expected.  We’ve definitely learned a lot and I’m so excited to share some of the lessons learned. I hope that all of you reading this learn something too and know that the first year of marriage is the toughest simply because you are learning to grow with someone else – which is beautiful but also incredibly painful at times. You just have to understand that and be willing to hold onto the reins tightly together knowing you’ll make it out alive on the other side.

July: The first month is the strangest. You’re still reveling in the wedding, the love and the excitement while also trying to settle into a new life and not get mad because you can’t find the plates anymore because someone else put them away. Things will slow down and get better, don’t worry. Enjoy getting into a routine together!

August: Learning to travel with someone new is exciting and terrifying but trust in each other and learn where your strengths are. The trip will feel much more relaxing if you both know what you’re doing and how to help the other. Take the time to walk to dinner, holding hands and just enjoying the Pacific sun while you can.

September: Marriage is so much more than being there on the good days, the celebratory days. It’s what you’re like the hardest moments that matter. Marriage is about holding someone’s hand when they don’t know what do with themselves and it’s about being there when the door comes crashing open and you know what’s happened before they can even talk. It’s about organizing and taking control and letting someone process what’s happening in their life (and understanding that you’re going to screw something up when you do this and that’s okay!!).

October: Surprising someone you live with is actually a lot harder than it looks! Especially when you live in a one bedroom apartment and share closet, drawer and living space. I’m still impressed I managed to surprise you with the shoes I got you – but I’m so glad I did. It was worth it! My husband isn’t easy to surprise but it’s always worth trying anyway.

November: It’s important to be on the same page about finances. Being on the same page makes it so much easier to know what you’re saving for, why you can’t order a pizza every night and doesn’t make either of you feel like you’re the one that has to be in charge. They’re messy conversations and boring ones too but you have to have them otherwise things will never feel stable or financially secure. The longer you have these conversations, the easier it gets and the more the walls come down. It’s a weird thing to share finances with someone else – be patient with each other.

December: Family is the foundation of all you are. Sit down together and make your own traditions – it’s way more fun to eat something stuffed on Christmas Eve and chicken biscuits with gravy in the morning at 6 am because that’s what WE wanted to do. Love every moment you have that involves celebrating together and making the holidays yours as a new family.  

January: You can love each other to the moon and back, but after being snowed in with each other for a week it’s okay to say you need a break. No one’s feelings will be hurt and it’ll be nice to get a breather. It doesn’t make you a bad wife/husband to think that. I promise you.

February: Never stop dating each other. Take one night a week and go out to eat, or watch a movie together – whatever it is, do it together.  Just one night a week truly focused on each other reminds you why you’re together in the first place. I loved all our Bonefish Grill Bang Bang Shrimp date nights!

March: Learn to love where you are in life together and don’t always wait for the next big thing to happen. Life together is big enough. At the same time, never stop dreaming together.

April: Find something you can do together (that isn’t a date night) and do it. Every few weeks, we make breakfast sandwiches for ourselves for the weeks ahead. It’s simple and a chore but we do it together and it’s a lot more fun that way. Plus it’s done in half the time!

May: Push each other to be the best versions of yourselves. Whether that’s better eating, less spending, more exercising or pursuing a dream in your off hours from work- always encourage each other and be each other’s number 1 fan.

June: When the first year starts coming to a close, you’re going to feel more in love than when you started. I hope this feeling never goes away.

I love you, Ryan! One year down, many more to go.

XOXO,

Kristina

All wedding/engagement photos – a huge thank you to Hope Taylor Photography.